It’s all right. “It’s all right”, he said on the celluloid and I believed him. It was not my first introduction to the man but definitely one of those that left an imprint. Was it his dialogue delivery or his expressions? I could never understand that. Neither did I try, I think. I did not quite want to understand. Understanding everything sometimes takes away the joy of experiencing it. I wanted to just enjoy seeing him ‘act’ all the time.
Sahabzade Irrfan Ali Khan, born amidst the cool winter breeze of January in 1967, dropped the baggage of his lineage and carried himself forward as ‘Irrfan’. In a country that values stardom and glamour, he became a true carrier of art and emotions. To comment on his ‘talent’ is beyond the reach of my understanding of the craft. What I and you, together can try to fathom is a cinema with and without Irrfan.
How was it that a man single-handedly won the hearts of millions? How is it that without knowing him personally, hundreds of thousands across the globe felt a gut-wrenching emptiness on seeing him leave? Irrfan did not bring romance to the screen nor was he the biggest superstar. He left his mark not with a chiseled body but with his humbling eyes. Eyes that drew the audience wherever he wanted to take them. People say an artist’s work lives even after they leave, but what do we say about a man who in his living life made us believe “Mai tha, mai hoon, aur mai hi rahoonga”? Vishal Bharadwaj gave the perfect name to his character – Roohdar. Maybe that’s why this loss felt personal. Maybe because he felt like one of us. Raw, relatable, heartfelt, and reliable. Irrfan did not come to become a star. He just came to tell us stories.
“You cannot reduce the power of a story with the tag of money. You must know the seriousness of the power of storytelling.”
These words by Irrfan echoed in each one of his performances. He did not pretend to portray larger than life stories. He played a man sitting beside you in a restaurant, a man shouting from the rooftops of a building, a man who works in a small cubicle of an office, and one who eats his lunch alone. He portrayed a man who could not understand fitting in the pace of the world yet tried relentlessly to make a place for himself. These roles, albeit of an ‘ordinary’ man can often appear seemingly distant on the silver screen. It needed an Irrfan to bring them to life. The honesty he put in his work shone brightly on his face. With next-door stories of Angrezi and Hindi medium, he brought his words “language cannot make one an elite” to the masses. From a psychopath to a cab driver to a government employee, he made people believe that their stories are not ordinary. He portrayed them with such honesty; they could not remain just ‘filmy’.
So we might be a little late to say this, but thank you for choosing Lunchbox and Maqbool over Interstellar, Irrfan. Thank you for your utmost honesty on a screen that sometimes forgets the ingenuity of stories. Stars become an inspiration for millions world-wide, but you, my dear, became a calming breath of fresh air for everyone who is believed to be just ‘ordinary’. An actor who epitomized versatility and honesty. Hindi cinema would never be able to bear this loss nor will it be the same without an artist who spoke stories with his silence. But will the cinema ever be without an Irrfan? I do not think so. You have sown a seed of the revival of art. Slowly, more people will join in and someday a ‘Karwaan’ will be formed.
Nonetheless, my heart still disagrees to believe that a year from now, I am not going to wake up to see you on a movie poster with those oceanic eyes. Maybe, my heart still longs for the days it could smile seeing you master every character thrown at you. I believed in everything you said. Then tell me, why I couldn’t believe you when you said – “I suppose in the end, the whole of life becomes an act of letting go”? It’s almost painful and surprising that you convinced me of everything but could not convince me of your leaving.
So, lastly, thank you for never letting me know how you act, Irrfan. Because maybe the day I start understanding that; I will start getting convinced of your absence. I do not think I want that because maybe, all your performances are not over yet. Maybe some are still left. Some more stories, some more tears, some more waves of laughter, and some more Irrfan.
Written by Soumya Dixit
Image sources :
- Funchershop. Irrfan Khan. Instagram, 29 Apr. 2020, https://www.instagram.com/p/B_kEHsQphk9/
- Irrfan Khan on battling cancer: Nothing was working; No consolation, no motivation, Pinkvilla, https://www.pinkvilla.com/entertainment/news/irrfan-khan-battling-cancer-nothing-was-working-no-consolation-no-motivation-416428
- 10 Powerful Irrfan Khan Dialogues Which Inspired Us to Embrace the Nuances of Life, News 18, https://www.news18.com/news/buzz/10-powerful-irrfan-khan-dialogues-which-inspired-us-to-embrace-the-nuances-of-life-2597447.html
